A Beautiful Adventure
Beauty in the days when I want to call the whole thing off
So a while back, the Professor pitched this crazy idea he had for his upcoming Sabbatical. It sounded really amazing, but my practical mind started quickly spinning out on the implications of what this would involve in the planning and executing of said idea with a family of 7.
His idea is for us to head abroad for a semester. His dream is to be fluent in Biblical Hebrew and he found an institute that uses intensive methods, submerging learners into the language and culture, and producing fluent students by graduation.
I wish I could say that from the moment the Professor pitched his idea for sabbatical, I was excited and completely on board. But dear reader, that would be a big fat lie.
I’m all for supporting my man’s life goals, but it’s been quite a process, honestly. We’ve done the overseas living before, but now we have five children…that I’ll have to homeschool…and manage a home for…in a foreign place…while the Professor is in an intensive program. But we’ve wrestled with it, and we do sense that this in an invitation for us to follow.
Now I am truly on board. There is much excitement and anticipation for our semester and I have my own dreams and visions for our homeschool. This adventure is an absolute gift and I can’t wait for our family to experience this together (I’ll share more about this another time).
But the preparations have quickly eaten up any spare margin we have, which in this stage of life, isn’t much. Add on top of this that a few weeks ago, the location of the institute became uncertain and has thrown a whole lot of unpredictability into the situation.
Stress plus uncertainty are the perfect combination for me to freeze up and shut down. And so, I look for what makes this all beautiful that I might stay checked in.
The beauty…
In community…This journey has provided us the opportunity to catch up with many friends and invite them into our opportunity. It has reminded me of the beauty of our community. We have lived so many places and have rich histories with friends across the country and around the world. And although our people are so spread apart, we have felt seen and dearly loved as friends have reached out and expressed concern and prayers for us when the original location became volatile; they’ve sent texts that remind us that they’re in our corner no matter where we end up; they’ve sat in the fear and uncertainty with us and acknowledged that yes, this is scary, and it is ok to doubt as I wrestle with having faith that this really is the invitation. We weren’t meant to live this life alone and there is such beauty in connection with beautiful lives that we’ve been allowed the privilege to intersect with, even if some are for only a short season.
In the tension of emotions…I’m talking about high highs and low lows and everything in between, my friends. And in those emotions there is magnetic effect where I need to draw near and at the very same time am being drawn near to God. I marvel at that magnetic pull. It’s beautiful. It means I’m never alone. It means God desires to be near me and I am held. It means I can cry out for mercy and ask for an increase of faith in my doubt and there is space for it: He doesn’t turn his back, but embraces me all the more. There is sweetness and beauty to me desperately coming to Him.
In grace…My heart is so fickle; Steady and centered one moment and an anxious, paralyzed mess the next. But that magnetic force mentioned above? It’s always there, drawing me near out of a great Father love back into peace, as many times as I’ll need it. That’s grace. And that’s beautiful. And I’m living in a lot of grace on this journey.
We are hoping to leave in December and I’ll keep you all posted as we go along. I hope to include in my next update on this adventure the invitation itself for our whole family, not just the Professor’s, and the beauty I see in this opportunity.
I hope you are well. I hope you are aware of and saying yes to invitations in your own life. I hope you experience the beauty in community, in the tensions of emotions, in grace.
Thanks for reading. It truly means a lot. I’ll be posting a Beauty Soak in the next few days. Until then…