Under the Missiles
A long answer plus simple delights in the midst of hard things.
Many of you have reached out and checked in with us after Iran attacked Israel early Sunday morning. And we are so grateful. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
I’ve given the short answer to many of you via text messages, but I felt it pertinent to use this space for the longer answer to what it was like and how we are doing.
Today I thought I’d unpack what it has been like for us-leading up to the event, the event itself and as this week has unfolded.
The days leading up to Sunday we had heard some rumblings from people around us and knew something was eminent. We prepared as we were told. “Make sure you have three days of food for each person in your family.” This was fairly easily done since I had just had a larger grocery haul. Check. Nothing more to do but wait.
A couple of days after that, I had the opportunity to step into a retreat for the weekend. It was lovely. And as I stepped into that sacred space, the sediment settled in my soul. I realized I was holding on to some stress in the uncertainty. There were butterflies in my stomach and tension in my shoulders. This had been my undercurrent since Wednesday, but I was unaware. It had been covered up by the usual thoughts and needs and actions required of normal life.
I hate that I have a skill set for this kind of stuff, but I do and I am thankful that I know how to move through it and had the sweet space carved out for me to do so. I released all that I was carrying. I was able to move further in to the retreat, untangling other things in my heart that had surfaced. This is all the BEAUTY of retreat, my friends. By Saturday night, I felt really really good. I fell asleep with peace in my soul.
I had unintentionally noted where the bomb shelter was earlier Saturday evening so when the sirens went off at 1:45am I knew exactly where to go.
My eyes flew open. My heart pounding, I started the countdown in my head. “90 seconds. I’ve got 90 seconds,” I thought to myself as I shook off the sleep and scrambled to gather my things and go upstairs to the shelter. The thoughts for getting myself to safety took about 30 of those seconds. The rest were for my family. “Oh Lord, please wake the Professor up. Help Little Man get off the top bunk. Help the children have level heads and not panic. Help them get down the stairs without tripping. Oh Lord, protect us all!”
And then I’m hunkered down in the shelter (which was a bedroom inside the Airbnb). I texted the Professor and knew the family was ok. Then I pretty much held my breath to see what would happen.
And nothing did.
I mean a HUGE thing did. 300 drones and missiles being shot down over head? But I didn’t hear it. Didn’t see it. Didn’t feel any effects of it. Not only physically unharmed, but we were able to all get sleep in our respective shelters, and getting myself back home the next morning, there were ZERO signs anywhere that anything had happened. It felt as though we dreamt it. Surreal. But we didn’t. It really happened.
We were all relieved the next morning to be back together and I knew it was best to set aside the normal schedule and homeschool routines for talking through it all.
I turned on music, lit a candle, and we debriefed.
We processed everything over the course of the morning and by lunch time, it felt right to step gently into normalcy. The children had a peaceful glow about them. There was a calmness in the house. We were able to get most of our work done, making a few modifications for mushy brains that didn’t get a full night of sleep.
When The Professor got back home from class that evening, there was a sweetness to all be together and a deep sense of gratitude that we had been kept from harm.
I’ve mentioned some previous invitations from Jesus while here in Israel. And while I was on retreat and conversing with him about the deeper things in my heart, the invitation came that he didn’t want me to strive to secure my future, but my He was asking to take my hand and lead me out on the dance floor. He asked me to trust him and let HIM lead my future. While all of that was helping with the deeper yearnings in my soul, I thought there might be something to that invitation that would also be applicable for what had just happened to me a few hours before. So I felt the need to go back to Him one more time before stepping out of retreat Sunday morning to ask if there was something he wanted me to know concerning the current situation we were now in. The image of me on the dance floor with him immediately filled my heart and mind. I knew in my spirit that this was Him. I could feel him pull me to himself, sensing his love, protection and safety. He whispered, “Let’s just dance now in my home land. You feel uncertain about not knowing how this is going to go. But I’m going to keep you close and I will lead you in this dance. While you don’t know this dance, each step there is to take- I will take it with you. I will keep you close. I will lead.” And peace flooded my soul.
We don’t know what will come next. But I do know these things…
We have an incredible invitation to lean in to.
We still have gifts to receive here.
I have a role to play. My role is to let him lead me in the dance-remembering the skill set that I have to move through and release fears. I continue to check in with my children, tending to their hearts and teaching them what I know about moving through fear and living with uncertainty. Meanwhile, I model for them what it’s like to dance with Jesus in the midst of it.
Even as I type all of this out, I see a gift. We are bonding as a family and learning life skills together. What we experienced was really really hard, but He is turning it into good.
In the midst of the hard, I share simple delights that we have enjoyed recently…
Watching My Octopus Teacher for a family movie night. This was the first documentary for some of the kids. They didn’t quite know what to think about that genre, but it is a remarkable story and very interesting.
Learning how to make mayo. Add a little chipotle and wow. We are putting this on everything right now. Our New Zealand friend came over and gave us a lesson.
Israeli cabbage salad. Very inexpensive, yet healthy and delicious. Use some of the homemade mayo in it and…I’ll be saving the recipe to make back home.
Velvet Ashes retreats. Shameless plug here for taking a retreat for yourself. So much happens in your soul when you take time to quiet and be still in the grace and love of Jesus.
Book recommendations from friends. I’m excited to dive in to this historical fiction series that brings together a lot of things I’ve learned while being here… The Zion Chronicles
Thanks for reading and journeying with us.
Glad you all are safe and The Lord had his hand on your family. May He continue to protect you.
So very glad to hear you are all okay. Continuing to ask for the Father’s provision for you all—for grace and peace and protection and patience.